I’m Nicole. My boyfriend’s name is Gerard. (Pronounced Jared.). We met on stickam. We’ve been dating since May 29th, 2009. He lives in Australia and I live in Massachusetts. We haven’t been able to meet yet. Yes, my family does know about him and they’re okay with it.

Before I met Gerard, I was depressed, I had high anxiety, and I wasn’t in school. Everything seemed to be going down hill. I wouldn’t leave my house for anything. If I did leave, I had to be with my mom. Love was the last thing I expected to find.

When I met Gerard, we just hit it off. He treated me differently. I was completely comfortable around him. We’d talk for hours on end. I was up all night and woke up early just so I could talk to him. Whenever he IMed me, I’d get these huge butterflies. I was scared I’d say something utterly stupid. I eventually realized, I didn’t just “like” him, I loved him. When he said it back my heart skipped a beat.

When we first started dating, everything was perfect. We’d talk everyday on skype. By the second month, he knew my entire life story and I knew his. We never fought up until about 6 months into the relationship. We decided a break was needed then. It didn’t last very long. I couldn’t not talk to him. So we decided to go on a “lovey dovey break”. We’d have conversations without saying i love you etc. It was hard, really hard. But it only made us closer.

About a year into our relationship we decided to do promise rings. I still haven’t gotten his, it keeps getting sent back, but he has the one I bought him. He wears it everyday. He even carries around the letters I sent with it, with him everywhere. He also has a job, he works long hours and we don’t get to talk nearly as much as we used too. We talk about once a week. I text him everyday just to remind him I love him. When he has credit, he’ll text me back or even call my cell phone. He’s seen me with no make up, my natural hair, in sweats. He’s seen me when I look like a mess. And I feel comfortable, I don’t have to look good all the time for him to call me beautiful because he says it no matter how I look.

Gerard and I, we’re in love. We really are. We don’t have to see each other to be happy. As long as we can hear each other’s voices, we’re content. Though, we really would like to meet. We will eventually, for now voices are enough. We constantly have I love you fights. We talk about meeting. We play songs that we’ve heard that remind us of each other. We decided when we meet, we’re going to dance to “Amazed” by Lonestar.  We tell each other everything. Things no one even knows about. We’re always there for each other. We can tell when the other is upset. We don’t talk often now, about once a week. But when we do talk, it’s as if we talk everyday. We miss each other, even while we’re talking. We make promises we intend to keep. We trust each other. We wouldn’t change a thing about each other. Gerard and I, we don’t put each other down. We don’t call each other stupid, or any other names even when we are fighting. We can go from having an extremely deep conversation, to something completely and utterly random.

 Gerard is the most amazing person. He’s smart ,funny, random ,weird, perverted, handsome. To me, he’s the total package. He says the sweetest things. He makes me happy, unbelievably happy. No one has ever made me feel the way he makes me feel. The way I feel about him, I’ll never feel for another person. Knowing that he feels the same, makes it even better. No one could compare to him. We may live on opposite sides of the planet, but I’d wait forever and a day for him. He makes me truly happy. Just hearing his voice, I feel..safe. Like nothing can hurt me. He pushes me to do things, I never thought I could do. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me. I’d be stupid to let him go. He has my heart..forever. Nothing he does will ever make me love him less. He’s the reason I wake up in the morning. He’s my best friend, my boyfriend, my hero, my everything. And I can’t even begin to describe how he makes me feel. It’s like those butterflies, the giggles. I can be my complete self around him. I know he’s always there for me. No one could compare to him, they can’t make me smile like he does, laugh like he does, cry like he does. I’m so lucky to have him.  I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I feel like we’re meant to be. and I know he has his flaws, but he couldn’t be more perfect for me. I love every little detail that makes him who he is.

Our relationship isn’t perfect. We do have fights, though that’s really rare but in the end, it just makes us stronger. No matter how mad or aggravated we get with each other we realize just how much the we mean to one another.

I’ve been told a million times that he’s fake, that I’m desperate, that I can’t actually love him if we’ve never met. You know what though? You don’t have to meet someone to fall in love. A relationship isn’t just based on physical interaction. You have to have an emotional attraction, you have to be loyal, you have to have trust and honesty. There’s so many things that shape a relationship aside from physicalness and sex. You have to accept peoples imperfections, because no one is perfect. 

If it weren’t for him, my life would have no purpose. He brought color to my black and white world. He makes me look at things in another perspective.  He’s my hero. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. 

On November 16th, 2011 Gerard went missing. He was missing a little over 3 months. They finally found him on February 29th, 2012. Which happened to be our anniversary of 2 years and 8 months. I can honestly tell you those were the absolute worst 3 months of my life. I never even imagined something like that happening. There wasn’t a day I went without thinking about him, where he was, what had happened. I played all these scenarios in my head. One thing I never did, was believe he wouldn’t come home. I knew he would. He’s the strongest person I know. And now, he’s safe.<3

I’ll occasionally update this. :]<3